I was going through all my sites: Myspace, Facebook, Xanga… realizing that I haven’t had much to say and wanting to shut them all down.  Why bother? all these are too personal to put up political commentary, too impersonal to write anything meaningful… And as of late, my life has been anything but noteworthy and exciting, only drab and filled with thoughts ranging from the altruistic to the quite unsavory.  And then I stumbled upon my brother’s blog, went to the YouTube link of my father’s video, and also found SoliX’s performance from last year’s Remnant Conference in America.  And that, along with another look at my father’s video and a gooooood talk with friends last night and a galvanizing Remnant Core message on Sunday… (yeah, you get the point)…

To the one and only Team SoliX: I love you guys.  Our bond in Christ transponds beyond country borders, and thanks to the internet I was able to gain strength from some awesome brothers and sister in Christ, in Tokyo, LA, and NYC.  You as a team, you individually, may never know how much my heart yearns and prays for you and for the dream, the vision the Lord gave us and for which he continues to bless us.  My days, when they are heavy, are uplifted by your direct or not so direct presence in my life, but most of all by the unity which binds us, the same unity that binds us to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  I was too busy crying during RCA to tell you… and too scared I would bawl in tears if I told you in person, but as a member of this team, in prayer and heart, as the daughter of our mentor and biggest championer, I couldn’t be more grateful for a bunch like you, and I have never been so proud.  May the name of Christ, may God alone, be praised.

RemnantCulture – “The display is called the Storm. The guy talks about it in the beginning but basically it’s about the struggles and hardships you may endure in your Christian Life and how He always helps you overcome. Listen to the words of the song and their choreography….”

Praise You in This Storm

words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now, that You would have reached down

and wiped our tears away,

stepped in and saved the day.

But once again, I say amen

and it’s still raining

as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain,

“I’m with you”

and as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise

the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:

And I’ll praise you in this storm

and I will lift my hands

for You are who You are

no matter where I am

and every tear I’ve cried

You hold in your hand

You never left my side

and though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry to You

and raised me up again

my strength is almost gone how can I carry on

if I can’t find You

and as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain

“I’m with you”

and as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise

the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes unto the hills

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

I lift my eyes unto the hills

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus 

SoliX - “The Storm”, Part I
 

SoliX - ”The Storm”, Part II
 

I’ve taken the liberty to translate the Korean praise song in the
beginning of Part II:

“Oh my soul, quietly look to only God.
My lips will praise Jehovah.
Only the Lord is my rock and my salvation.
Only the Lord is my castle on a hill; I will not shake.
My salvation, my honor – they are in God. 
He is my shelter, the rock of my strength.”

And if anyone loves the song as much as I do, (and considering that it’s praise, not just music) you can sing along to this version I made to match the tune )
“Listen, my soul, quietly. Lift your eyes to God alone
My lips will sing, sing praise to him, my Jehovah God.
Only you alone preserve my life and only you are my rock.
Only you alone are my fortress, unshaken I will stand secure
My salvation, honor, glory; Lord they’re only found in you
You shelter and comfort; I am strengthened, renewed~
(Praise the name of Jesus, Jesus in my life~)
Only you alone preserve my life and only you are my rock
Only you alone are my fortress, unshaken I will stand secure.”

Wish you all a brighter, purpose-driven day. 
The Lord bless you and keep you.

It’s been one year. 
A long and tumultuous one year.
And for the first time, in every area of my life
I can finally say with confidence…

“The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away,
Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

1.  http://www.ltdan.com/RevKim/RevDwight-LovingMemory_Low.wmv
2.  http://www.elevatedone.com/media/RevDwight-LovingMemory_Low.wmv

This was the video my bro put together for the funeral and memorial service.
I’m officially in Hawaii now, temporarily with Lynette in Waikiki, and school started Monday.

It’s been… a crazy summer. 

Thank
you, to everyone who sent their condolences via phone, mail, email,
text, IM and especially through prayer.  I’m sorry I didn’t tell
many people about the memorial service, nor was I very good with
returning calls/IMs/texts/mail… though my family is trying to get on
with our lives, I still don’t feel completely ready to talk about all
of this, but I have a feeling people understand.

The tone of
my last entry was angry and vengeful, believe it or not.  But what
I’ve realized since then is that Satan got the message and didn’t leave
me alone throughout all the grief.  But as my brother
representatively spoke during the memorial service, Satan is very, very
stupid.  Because the more he attacks me the more I’m resolved to
stake my life to break him down.  In a way, this event has shown
me that I have nothing to lose and, hence, no fear. 

I’m
now in Hawaii… “paradise” and yet my thoughts drift toward real
paradise, where my father rests to the voice of God saying, “Well done,
good and faithful servant.” My dad was a major reason for me pursuing
Korean, a fact hard to ignore during my studies in the Flagship
program.  He was my mentor, teacher, and hanja guru… the first
person I’d call in any language emergency.  But most of all I saw
our relationship growing in the gospel… and the joy it gave me
couldn’t be compared to anyone else.  He was my physical father,
spiritual leader, and model Remnant who raised Remnants.  It’s
impossible not to miss his presence, though I know I’m grown and can
face the world alone.

I’ve been sent away to the field at a time when I feel I should be home.
In the midst of trials and hardships, how can I contest the working of the Holy Spirit within God’s perfect plan?

           my dad in his 40s.  hardly looks it, yeah?

Hello, all. I write tonight as a bearer of sad news for us, but blessed news for my
father. 

The Rev. Dwight Dong Wan Kim passed away on Friday,
August 6 on the evangelism and missions fields of Japan.  He died
of a combined result of esophageal ulcers and liver/heart failure
though he lived a healthy life.  He had been to Japan multiple
times, my grandmother accompanying him as his translator, for the sake
of world evangelization, and was martyred on the field of his life’s
work.  Upon the close of the 2005 World Remnant Conference he was
admitted to Nagoya University Hospital. 

As fitting for what his life represented, his funeral will be held in Japan on
Tuesday, as a symbol of what he lived for, and what we, his
family, are incredibly proud of.  There will be another memorial
service in Los Angeles soon, for the Remnants, family, and friends here
in the States.

I’m partly writing this as a list of information, but more so because I
want everyone to know only one thing, really.  My father, if
nothing else, lived for one purpose, to tell every person in the world
of Jesus who is the Christ.  It is the single most profoundly
great inheritance I have received from him; it is the standard for
every aspect of my life–and I
thank God for such an amazing father, blessed to have realized it and
firmly placed the baton of God’s covenant in the hands of his amazing
wife, two sons, and
daughter. 

In this difficult and surreal time, please pray not only for our family
and friends because of our loss, but truly for us
as Remnants of Christ to all the more firmly hold on to this covenant
of the gospel; to confirm and reconfirm that why my father lived is the
reason why we must live and go on; that the forces of darkness attacked because Satan was crippled and
threatened, and rightly so; that God allowed it because he desires to
bless us a hundredfold; that everything is in God’s sovereignty,
exactly where it should be, in its place, in its time, all of which are
the absolute best.

God loved my dad so much he called him home.  Believing that, I
live the rest of my life to the fullest as he did, until God brings me
home too, to be with him again in paradise. The peace of God
truly transcends all understanding, guarding our hearts and minds in
Christ Jesus, to hear the call and run the race and get the prize,
giving all glory to God.

In Christ~

 
 
                            
Remnant Farmer
             Rev. Dwight Dong Wan Kim
       February 8 1948 –
August 6, 2005

    
    
                     
Watchman of Prayer
        
        
          
Watchman of the Word
            
  
             
Watchman of the Light

We will give ourselves no rest
Till your kingdom comes on earth
We’ve positioned watchmen on the walls
Then our prayers will flow like tears
For you’ve shared your heart with us
God of heaven, on our knees we fall
Come down, in power, reveal your heart again
Come hear our cries, the tears that plead for rain
We’re knocking, knocking on the door of heaven
We’re crying, crying for this generation
We’re praying for your name to be known
In all of the earth
We’re watching, watching on the walls to see you
We’re looking, looking for a time of breakthrough
We’re praying for your Word to bear fruit
In all of the earth
In all of the earth

I¡¯m HERE~
haha I woke up at 5:30 am today, after going to sleep at 10.  Looks like I won¡¯t have any problems with jetlag. but seriously, yesterday was tiring.  planes, stopover, bus, then car ride.  but it’s good to be here. SO good to be here.

thanks to those who contacted me~ once i get a cell phone i’ll be sure to post up here, friendster, email pplz… yadda yadda. haha. and here i thought i’d be spending all summer alone. HA~ my fourth time to Korea, so it’s good to change it up and be alone.  well, pretty much alone… my aunt (dad’s cousin) is great but this is the first time i’ve ever met her, that i remember.  both her and her husband graduated from Yonsei, and they’ve already given me names of professors to go track down and say hi to. so yeah. although exciting/scary to be on my own, it’s comforting to know i’ll be seeing some familiar faces soon =D i already made my first Yonsei friend~! met Noah from UCI on the plane. cool deal.

other than that, this morning i’ve been writing emails and figuring out what to do.  My dad wrote me already. hahahaha. so cute. yes, i gush about him. what of it.  he wrote me such a friggin long letter.  he summed it all up pretty well near the end:

³» µþ Çý³ª°¡ ÀÌÁ¨ 20»ìÀÇ ¾î¿³ÇÑ ¼÷³à(Lady)Áö¸¸ ¾ÆÁ÷µµ ¾Æºü¿¡°Ô´Â ¾î¸°¾ÆÀÌ°°À̸¸ »ý°¢µÇ´Â ±Í¿©¿î ¾ÆÀ̶ó°í ¿©°ÜÁ®¼­ ÀܼҸ®(Nagging) °°Àº ¸»À» ¸¹ÀÌ Çß±¸³ª.

±×·¯³ª ¾î°µç ³Ê´Â ³» µþÀÌ´Ù. ¾ÆºüÀÇ ¸¶À½ÀÌ Ç×»ó ³× °ç¿¡ ÀÖ´Ù´Â °Í Àشϸ»°í ¹«¾ùº¸´Ù Çϳª´ÔÀÇ ¼º·É²²¼­ õ±º õ»ç¸¦ °¡´Â °÷ ¸¶´Ù µ¿¿ø½ÃÄѼ­ ³Ê¸¦Àεµ ÇÏ°í ÁöÄÑÁÖ½Ç °ÍÀ» È®½ÇÈ÷ ¹Ï°í ´ã´ëÇÏ°Ô Çѱ¹ »ýÈ°À» Áñ±â´Ù°í µ¹¾Æ¿À±â¸¦ ¹Ù¶õ´Ù.

basically saying he knows i’m grown up but b/c he still thinks of me as his little girl he’s prolly nagged me too much (haha, 2/3 of the letter was on manners and etiquette that’s already been drilled into me for the past 20 years. how did i confirm this? every single thing he listed i’d already done, including those he hadn’t… tsk tsk. appa’s slipping. )  but that last paragraph is more like him: completely trusting that I am God’s child, thinking of me, praying for me… the good stuff.

 travelling is truly a blessing.  once again, a chance to confirm my identity as a child of God.  Like my dad wrote, whether i feel at home in Korea or America isn’t important because I’m already a citizen of Heaven.  what an even greater blessing, then, that these past years i’ve learned to adapt in any environment and can say i feel at home here.  in Korea.  in the East.  in Seattle.  at school.  in Covina.  wherever blessed, blessed, blessed, blessed me.

now to get my hair done